I Regret Buying a House

Dear B.,

Three months ago I bought a house. Everyone kept saying “now or never.” Interest rates seemed to be easing up, my rent had jumped $400, my parents warned I was “throwing money away,” and all my friends were buying. I didn’t want to be left behind.

I got preapproved for more than I thought I could afford and then ended up offering nearly $30K over asking on a house that seemed “good enough” because I felt pressure from my realtor to act quickly. I thought I would be excited when my offer was accepted, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was jumping into things too quickly.

Now things are literally falling apart. Last week a storm sent a tree through my roof. As in, my bedroom is now open to the sky. The repair estimate is $28,000, and my insurance deductible is $5,000, which I can’t pay. I’m sleeping in the living room, eating cereal for dinner,  and trying not to cry every time I check my bank balance.

Even before the tree, I was house poor. The HVAC filter needed replacing, which was $60 I didn’t have. I can’t afford furniture or paint. Every little repair sends me into a panic. Now I’m stuck in a place I don’t love, with thousands of dollars in damage, pretending everything’s fine because everyone is proud of me.

How do I admit this was a mistake without looking like a failure? And what do I do when I can’t afford to fix, sell, or stay?